If you know me, you know that I do not need reminded of something like this, as I have seen enough heartache in my short life to last an eternity. But we all need reminded of how quickly things can be given, and how quickly they can be taken away in order to keep us humble and worthy. Let us not be drug to the bottom by sadness but lifted up by the beautiful things that surround us.
The entirety of my journey thus far has been motivated by pain and sadness, of rejection and fear, of guilt and unworthiness, but I have learned how to channel those emotions into something beautiful into something that I hope is inspiring and motivating to others.
Today, I celebrate the life of a beautiful friend whom left this earth too soon. Today, I celebrate the love of a beautiful anniversary for my sister and her husband who have been through more in the past 3 years, than most marriages of 25. Today, I celebrate the tiny, beautiful life of my pup/child, Marley, as he turns 6 today.
The highs and lows of today's emotions could swallow me up and spit me out as they have in the past, or they can add a few bricks to the solid foundation that I am building for myself under my own two feet. I choose to stand on a solid foundation.
I will only let the sadness of Kayla's death affect me in a positive way. I will not pretend that we were best friends or that I've known her forever, because we were not and I have not. But what I will say is that she touched my life with kindness, and that to me is beautiful and worth celebrating. Every time I saw her she greeted me with a smile and a hug and that is how I will forever remember her.
My heart is heavy that I could not do more for her, say more to her...
She took her life shortly after reading and sharing my blog on her facebook page. I cannot help but wonder if I could have said something more profound that would have helped her understand that her life was beautiful and not worth taking... but I cannot dwell on that, will not dwell on it. I find peace in knowing that she read my words that day, that I was on her mind, that maybe in some way I helped her find peace with her Best Self, but I will never know for sure until we meet again one day.
Life is always going to throw punches at us that we may feel we cannot get back up from, but we can. No matter how many times you are knocked down on your journey, you have the choice to stand back up. If you feel that no one around you cares whether or not you get back up, you're wrong, someone does care, many people care. As human beings we do not reach out in the beautiful way that God intends for us to because we're so consumed with our own life stressors that we put everyone else around us on the back burner. So if we learn anything from today, from Kayla's beautiful life, that it is to be more selflessly beautiful towards others.
You never know what someone is facing behind closed doors, be kind, and above all -- live BEAUTIFULLY.
As for today I will pocket my sadness and remember Kayla as the spitfire that I so admired. I will lift up my sister and her husband on their journey towards parenthood that seems to be a never ending road. I will fill the empty hole in my heart where Marley has been absent from my life at this current point and I will find joy in knowing that he's safe and happy while mommy works towards being her Best Self.
Life is not easy, nor should we expect it to be. Never regret your journey because it has brought you to where you are today. If you are unhappy with today, then work on making tomorrow better, and if you find that your still unhappy tomorrow then you must work at it every single day until you reach the beautiful destination that was intended for you.
YOU ARE WORTH IT
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
In Loving Memory of Kayla Houston
In Loving Memory of Kayla Houston
Kayla and I grew up in the same small town. Although we were not close friends by any means, we spent a significant amount of time around each other since our parents are good friends. She was always so bright and bubbly, even up to her passing. I seen her out a few days before hand hanging with a friend at the local bar.she came up and gave me a hug. I hadn't seen her in forever and she was still just beautiful and chipper as always. The news of her death devastated anyone that knew her. I followed the link from your blog that she had posted and wAnted to understand maybe what she was feeling. I stumbled upon this post, and I've read it tons of times since. It's so touching and saddening to see how she reached the hearts of people I don't even know, and now that's gone. I love this post, it reminds me of how kind she was more so than any heart felt memory from people I actually know. I feel like it lights her memory in a way that is completely organic. I can't explain it, but I thank you for this excerpt.
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